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Alright alright, there was a short hiatus from the blog-ness, but we're back in full swing, even with the pregnancy half over. My sincerest apologies for the delay (mostly to Corey...).
I guess some moderately important milestones took place for our little guy (or gal), but let's not worry ourselves with the past, and let's pick up with the here and now-- week 20! During this week, bones continue to ossify, finger and toe pads form, and teeth buds are blooming right below the gum line. With its limbs in relative proportion, th
e little swimmer no longer looks like a sea monkey alien, but rather a pocket-sized person. Also, visible eyelashes, eyebrows, and rosy pink lips put Hankemma in the running for high school prom king/queen even at a young age (whoa, look out moms and pops). First though s/he will need to conquer that whole learning to walk thing as well as the strangeness of middle school.
On a more visceral note, that white, waxy goop has started to form over the babe in order to protect its developing skin from the amniotic fluids that it's chillin' in all day and night. No pruning here. Seen Knocked Up? Perhaps Juno? Maybe even a horrible "
makes me never wanna have sex again" VHS in 7th grade health class? Yeah that coating you see on your kid when the doctors hold it up in holy presentation before the umbilical cord gets snipped (NOTE: the umbilical cord is a breeding ground for stem cells--snatch those bad boys up)-- that coating is forming during this week. No, maam, no candle wax or light mayonaise was involved in the birthing of this baby, thats just the vernix caseosa!
Well dear friends, week 20 is well under-way and by the end of this week we should know the sex of this pelvis-dweller (because let's be honest, trying to refer to the thing without a sex, and consequently a name, is just becoming awkward...pelvis-dweller?). Quite the exciting development, eh? Stay tuned for more (almost) weekly updates.
Gelatinous by-products aside, this little critter is really on the up and up. With the chin, nose, and forehead being much more defined now, Hankemma is starting to look like a real human rather than a tadpole (ew). With facial muscles in tact, this kid can smile at my jokes, turn its nose down at that rank bathroom spray people STI
LL insist on using, and wrinkle its little brow at life's tough questions (often posed by Corey). Measuring only about 3-6 inches in length and weighing no more than a slice or two of cheese, this little guy (or gal) has fingerprints of its own and rests comfortably in amniotic fluid that provides a fresh warm cushion every three to four hours. Those must have been the days of glory. Throughout the second trimester, there is going to be some Nascar-speed growth happening, for both mother and child. Pretty soon, Amy won't be able to walk through the grocery store without millions of hormone-hungry women reaching their arms out to molest her abdomen with unadulterated shamelessness.
In a more made-for-Oprah moment, Amy heard her baby's heartbeat for the first time last week. Tears ensued as the pitter-patter of new life resounded around the room. In all serious though, this was a very exciting moment because it was indicative of the baby's good health (as if we had any doubt)!
Learning about Amy's baby's development (almost) week-by-week has inspired me to more actively seek more knowledge on the miracle of life. On second thought, "actively" might be an inaccurate way of defining the research I've done-- from the sofa of my living room, I've watched hours and hours of baby shows on Discovery Health almost as if it's become a new hobby (read: obsession) of mine. I've learned all about the squishiness of a baby's head at the time of birth, the strange development of genitalia, and women who miraculously sense their pregnancy within hours of it happening (liars, maybe?). Check your local cable listing.
For many of us younguns in the office, Amy's pregnancy is our first opportunity to watch the miracle of life first-hand. The experience brings a new perspective through which we view the present and analyze the past. Armed with an enhanced life-lens I hope to tackle the great mysteries and raise my own questions in "deep thoughts provoked by Amy's baby."
Genesis 1:27
"God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them."
If we are all created in God's image, does that mean God looks like a gelatinous, translucent blob, whose head makes up over half of it's 2 inch body? Perhaps God looks like your freckly ginger nephew, or The Notorious B.I.G., or Pamela Anderson! But wait! All of these people look completely different! Is God some sort of shape-shifting chameleon? Maybe he's a large amalgamation of all of us, held together by Elmers glue, gravity, and divine power.
Whether shape-shifting chameleon or enormous glue ball, your pimply ginger nephew rears his nauseating head into God's image completely for a millisecond, or as small part of the greater whole. Which leads us to the obvious question, when a viciously ugly person comes into existence does God become self conscious and superficial, looking into the cosmic mirror saying to himself, "damn, my image is wack?"
Lets step back a moment though, there's no need for your ginger cousin to look like your ginger cousin! God, being omnipotent, has the ability to make everyone beautiful! Why doesn't he? The only logical conclusion is that our collective purpose is to entertain the big guy as he reclines on his lazy-boy, watching the universal television show that is our existence, and God likes sitcoms. Now you know the meaning of life. You're welcome.
Note: some critics may say "hey wise guy, beauty is a subjective social construct, our many differences should be celebrated not critiqued, life's true beauty is measured on the inside through the sum of actions exercised via our free will." But only ugly people say that. Shut up you ugly cultural relativist critics.
This is an extremely important week for our fast-growing multicellular friend who can now officially e called a "fetus" (according to doctors, nurses, and aficionados of semantics around the globe). This week, Hank/Emma will double in size from 1 inch to 2 inches and gain a significant amount of weight. He/she/it will actually achieve fruit-size-status this week (a juicy plum of the red variety), however the head will account for over half of its overall physical being. Don't you wish you could remember back to when you were all head and a little bit of body? Crazy.
In addition to a massive growth spurt, this fun-loving fetus will also begin exploring its body, especially its mouth (fun!), as it gains coordination skills and the sensation of touch. It's eyelids fuse together this week and the cornea begins to develop (more fun!), its swallow reflex starts working (whoa, watch that placenta that begins forming this week!), and it's olfactory senses begin devloping (this means you REALLY have to stop spraying that bathroom air freshener lest you really t.o. lil Hankemma!).
As we enter the second trimester, this inutero-tenant is going to require a lot of delish food (it can taste now afterall , so why the heck not?). As Amy moves further and further away from her desk, reaching further to type on her keyboard, Corey and I will be keeping the "Craving Board" up to date for all those who happen to make intermittent trips to our local Safeway.
Use this thread to discuss your life plans for Amy's baby/s.
So when I asked Jeeves what a fetus looks like at week 9, a common response was "a God-given miracle." Yes, my friends, what is happening inside the womb of Amy Scott is in fact a miracle of the
greatest kind, the miracle of life. At week 9 however, it seems that "a God-given miracle" takes the physical form of something more closely resembling a tadpole with a fivehead and the arms of Master Shake from Aqua Teen (see image at left). Okay, well, it actually looks more like the image on the right, but who's being scientific here (Corey, I know that picture disgusts you, but that's what a real God-given miracle looks like).
At 9 weeks, that adorable thing is also in the process of developing its testes or ovaries; therefore, the countdown to knowing if we're to expect a wee little Henry (Hank the Hammer) or a darling Emma is well on its way. The intestines are getting longer, and Amy's starting to smell things all funny-like. She's the first to know who sprays the Misty Rain airfreshener in the bathroom. Pretty soon, muscles will be developing and an ultrasound could show a little bit of movement action going on in there. Exciting! Eyelids are forming, so amneotic fluid isn't all up in the fetus' eyes, which can only be a positive development. I don't know about you, but I can't wait for this thing to become "cute" as defined by societal cuteness standards. Let the miracle of life continue!
Use this thread to discuss the baby's current names or offer a suggestion of your own. As of now...
If it's a boy: Henry David Scott
If it's a girl: Emma Kathryn Scott
This post is for Amy to update her ever-changing food cravings so that we at the office (and her husband) can properly address her needs.
2/27/08 3:18 PM: Broccoli and cheddar soup
2/20/08 10:43 AM: Croissants, chicken salad, and UTZ potato chips
2/15/08 1:46 PM: Amy wants eggplant and basil on basmati rice with thai sauce (pronounce "thai sauce" with lame thai accent)
2/14/08 2:24 PM: Amy wants pad thai now.2/14/08 11:52 AM: Amy wants vegetarian sushi rolls.
I will update this original post as comments are submitted.
e little swimmer no longer looks like a sea monkey alien, but rather a pocket-sized person. Also, visible eyelashes, eyebrows, and rosy pink lips put Hankemma in the running for high school prom king/queen even at a young age (whoa, look out moms and pops). First though s/he will need to conquer that whole learning to walk thing as well as the strangeness of middle school.
makes me never wanna have sex again" VHS in 7th grade health class? Yeah that coating you see on your kid when the doctors hold it up in holy presentation before the umbilical cord gets snipped (NOTE: the umbilical cord is a breeding ground for stem cells--snatch those bad boys up)-- that coating is forming during this week. No, maam, no candle wax or light mayonaise was involved in the birthing of this baby, thats just the vernix caseosa!
